Merry Christmas, everyone

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas. And I DO say that to everyone - Merry Christmas. Now for some humor for Friday...but thought I'd share early so we can all sit back after all the baking, shopping, wrapping, addressing, singing, and plain old STRESSING is over, relax and enjoy a good laugh.


The Twelve Days AFTER Christmas
By Frederick Silver

The first day after Christmas, my true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down
and burned it just for spite
Then with a single cartridge,
I shot that blasted partridge
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me

The second day after Christmas, I pulled on the old rubber gloves
and very gently wrung the necks of both the turtle doves
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me

The third day after Christmas, my Mother caught the croup
I had to use the three French Hens to make some chicken soup
The four calling birds were a big mistake
for their language was obscene
The five golden rings were completely fake
and they turned my fingers green
The sixth day after Christmas, the six laying geese wouldn't lay
I gave the whole darn gaggle to the A.S.P.C.A

On the seventh day, what a mess I found
All seven of the swimming swans had drowned
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me

The eighth day after Christmas, before they could suspect
I bundled up the eight maids a milking, nine pipers piping, ten ladies dancing, eleven lords a leaping, twelve drummers drumming

(Spoken: "Well, actually, I kept ONE of the drummers" )

and sent them back collect
I wrote my true love, " We are through, love! "
And I said in so many words,
" Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the birds! "


Merry Christmas, and a very Happy New Year to all!